Hourly Ratings

 

Some motels won’t even leave the light on for you. Although, they might leave the water running to drown out the sound of static coming from the miraculously-still-functioning Trinitron. But you’re better off using an actual rabbit’s ears here to get a good signal than the coat hangers they provide. Room service? Please. Unless you count a tiny melted Twix bar tucked behind your pillow (it's okay if you do). This is not the Motel California. You can check out any time you like and obviously leave whenever you want. Rates are flexible and everything’s negotiable. Some people stay for days, others for hours, and still others pop in for a 15-minute relaxation session paid entirely in cash. No questions asked, no IDs required. 

Which brings me to the subject of annual employee performance reviews. The better the company, the more they take these reviews seriously. However, I’ve never heard of anywhere doing more than mandatory quarterly chats. It’s not enough. Not if you want to see real progress. Most people walk out of the dentist committed to an electric toothbrush and a bulk order of floss from their floss guy in Bay Ridge. Yet without a live-in hygienist, watching your every move, critiquing your technique from a chair behind the toilet, this fervor soon fades. 

When I began revolutionizing performance reviews, I proposed enacting weekly conversations with employees. Unfortunately, weekends poison the soul and ossify the mind. They soon shifted to daily, and then, of course hourly. What I like about hourly reviews the most is how pointed and succinct they can be. You see someone walking in the hall and yell, “That’s not a Windsor knot, hombre.” Yes, that counts as a review. You’re in the bathroom or holding court in a stalled elevator and you remark, “Nice try.” It’s vague, yes, ominous, of course, but that’s what reviews can be when you are getting dozens a week. You can’t prepare for something this frequent. Of course, participants are encouraged to give reviews as well. Not that they ever do. It's a lot of work.

Everyone can improve as an employee - one hour at a time.