You might be a hack if…
You bomb at a political rally where everyone already agrees with you
You try to be edgy like a teenager with a chain wallet
You’re a conformist at heart
You prefer applause over laughter
You try to make an actual point during a comedy set
You forget the “comic” part of “insult comic”
You’re not important enough to be cancelled
You can’t even ride the coattails of your famous friends to achieve genuine, mainstream success
You require the presence of rank amateurs to look halfway decent
You’re not funny
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