Past its time

 

Baseball isn’t perfect. I know that. The lords of nerdom have transformed the game into a stupid math problem. It used to be geometry, which I could appreciate, as someone partial to the slow incorporation of the word “rhombus” into everyday conversation. I wonder if we’re close to a time when pitching staffs will feature twenty-seven hurlers, one for every out of the game. You know: entertainment. 

 

But the one thing, no pocket protected counter of beans hasn’t ruined yet is the field itself. The game is still quite easy on the eyes. The large expanse of greenery in the outfield, the dirt, even the bulbous bases are aesthetically pleasing. Who doesn’t like a diamond, fanning out towards each respective foul pole? 

 

This is an important component of the sport untouched by those who wish to sap every ounce of joy from it through actuarial tables and quantitative projections. Baseball is a good-looking game, even if what happens on the field is not always that. 

 

Which brings me to the real crux of this piece: football. There are many dings against the game today. The ubiquity of gambling. The danger of concussions. The pervasiveness of binge drinking by fans. The stupidity of announcers. The prevenance of fantasy idiocy. And on and on. What few people seem to acknowledge is how truly hideous the sport has become. Defenders will say it’s a reflection of war, a proxy contest that isn’t mean to be pretty. Where’s the incredible war photography then? I don’t see Robert Capa pacing under the goalposts. 

 

I’m not talking about how the game is played. That is ugly by design. Numbers on the field? Really? They’re obnoxiously large. It’s a boring rectangle with writing all over it. Dumb logos in the center. Stupid sayings in the end zone. Say what you will about soccer, but it is the beautiful game by comparison. Verdant greenery punctuated by tasteful netting on either side. If you removed the white lines and hash marks, what would happen? The referees would be required to do their job from the sidelines. At least we’d be looking at a cleaner game. Too bad it's ugly from here on out. Either this or put linebackers in tutus.