Listen up

When I find myself in times of trouble, it’s best to remember why we were put here on earth - to lecture others on how to live. Sure, this may be a crisis, the likes of which we’ve never seen, but it’ll be infinitely easier to get through if we’re out there on the lecture circuit, avoiding our own itchy reflection. I’m already consumed with more homespun bromides than the average thought leader. The only trouble is, I don’t have nearly enough recipients. Unlike the current hand sanitizer situation, my supply far outweighs the demand. 

Being in unfamiliar territory doesn’t mean we can’t play the part of an expert. It’s just another role in this Chris Columbus produced tragicomedy called existence. And actual expertise is far from a prerequisite here. On the contrary, the less you know, the freer you are and the freer you’ll remain. Simply take cursory glances at the news and do it weekly – never daily. That way, you’ll approach things from a fresh perspective, one that optimizes ignorance. You don’t want to be bogged down in the mire of facts. This is about selling a point of view not a set of statistics. Plus, the more you do it, the less you have to worry about yourself.  

Others cannot get through this without you. We must stand tall, courageously telling them what to eat, what shows to binge on, and when to leave their homes for a stroll. They need answers and they need them now.

Follow these three simple rules and you’ll be just fine. I call it the “Shhhhh, the adults are talking now guide to surviving a pandemic.” To help you remember, each rule begins with the letters “sh.” 

Show. Show them what it’s like to live a productive penned-in life and that quarantines aren’t half bad. It could be something as simple as a piece of your daily routine, like say, showering. Now you don’t have to show yourself showering. Maybe a before and after type thing or only allude to it. Now more than ever, people need examples and role models. This is where influencers must step up. 

Shame. This one is hugely important. Shaming people, especially those who you’ve never met is what civilization depends on. It's proven that while vaccines are essential they cannot do the heavy lifting that shame and humiliation does. Making people understand the error of their choices through bullying and handwringing is a nakedly heroic act. But are you up to it?

Sha na na. They’re a great band who deserve another look. This is as good a time as any to revisit their varied oeuvre. 

Please remember that this isn't about you. It's about others. But right now, they need you to tell them that.