I’m startled at the number of copywriters who don’t know how to churn butter. Only a couple hundred years ago it wasn’t all that rare of a skill. It was practically a given considering that most people came from farms straight to agencies. There, they were expected to sharpen their abilities but never lose the barnyard je ne said quoi associated with manual labor. While you clogged minds with words during the day, it was understood that by night you’d be out there clogging arteries, too.
These days, writing is too rarefied. Writers think that because they get paid to write, they are a privileged class, deserving special rights and respect. When the fact is, most people know how to write. You don’t see other people getting all high and mighty about their deftness at breathing. That would be absurd. But here are writers, droning on about what makes their combination and placement of words unique. How meter and syllables figure into daily conversation. The time will come when most animals learn how to write. Then they'll be sorry for manipulating them for cruel television spots in absurd situations. It's only a matter of time. We already know they can read and listen. They understand us better than we understand them. I'd take a dolphin over a poet any day of the week.
The same people who’d tear up in abject terror at the sight of a plunger and wooden barrel usually prefer their coffee with cream. Yet it never occurs to them to violently shake their cup of Joe until the substance inside is of an adequate consistency to spread on a piece of steaming hot toast. Unbelievable. And these are the same folks who think just because slicing bread is an accepted, objective good, they are somehow content living in a world ignorant of what it takes for something to become spreadable.
It doesn’t just happen on its own. Yes, milk will curdle eventually. But imagine attending a wine and cheese party at the home of a young diplomat living in a palatial 5th Avenue townhouse, where cottage cheese is all that’s available. You’d be out the door before the toast pops.
Butter is a different story. We’re always telling clients not to be so literal, when in reality, living through abstractions is completely naïve.
How are we as an industry supposed to avoid the so-called “churn” inside agencies if the very concept remains so remote as to be an utter udder abstraction. And don’t get me started on account directors who don’t know how sausage is made.
See ‘round the farm.
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