This is what we’ve all been waiting for. An extremely annoying semi-famous YouTuber facing off with an over-the-hill pigeon-loving psycho for what should be a match to reimburse the audience. It’s rare we get two fighters with punchable faces on the same bill, but he we are, Jim.
They’re coming out now. Here we go, ding ding ding.
The overly tattooed podcaster meanders around the ring while the cartilage chomper wobbles aimlessly. A few phantom jabs as beads of sweat douse the floor. Now Jim, this match is being simulcast deep into the outer solar system so any nosy aliens will not consider us intelligent life and move on to the next galaxy. This is the physical embodiment of the peace sign or sticking a flower in a soldier’s gun. Oooh, finally, a nice headshot, Though it’s more Annie Leibowitz than JFK.
The judges are talking it over. It should be just a few more moments. And there you have it. A technical farce by unanimous decision. Maybe the rematch will be more of a joke.
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