The Gall of Silence

When I was growing up under the prospect of nuclear war and a rickety wooden school desk, it often felt wise to keep my mouth shut. If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all. Being quiet was an asset back in those days. You could rise in most industries simply by waiting your turn and never getting out of line. The moment you voiced an opinion someone could disagree with, there goes your storybook career arc. The surest way to get on the Supreme Court is still to keep your opinions to yourself until the time is right.

The rest of us should take notice. It’s not enough to sit on the sidelines anymore, guffawing and grinning like a fur-wearing Joe Namath, mugging for the camera while others tell your story. Silence won’t be tolerated much longer. Think of what we’ve accepted through the years. As always, there’s a lot of blame to go around. Paintings from the Old World are comic strips without commentary. Which, interestingly enough, is a sad commentary on art itself. Would it have killed Rembrandt to have added a few notes to his paintings? Who’s the guy in the middle and what’s that in his hand? Is that an impressive mane or a medieval toupee? These are questions that remain unanswered. When art lacks clarity it leads to confusion and ends up in boredom.

There are worse examples, too. Like photographs, with their pretentious lack of context. It’s why the only photographs I appreciate are those of historical plaques – because they actually say something. They take a stand. In a different era, the mafia based their entire corporate structure around silence. It worked until it didn’t. Would Charlie Chaplin make it today? Lord, I hope not. Silent movies are cowardly artifacts from a spineless time. The Tramp believed he could dance and eat shoes to amuse us. Not anymore. Even the Three Stooges required sound effects of skulls cracking and hands slapping to entertain the audience.

Those are obviously the obvious sources of present derision. Things that don’t quite hold up. But when I think about those getting a pass at the moment, I’m not thinking about people, paintings or pictures. I’m focused solely on words. And, more specifically, letters. The silent ones who haven’t been held to account for their role in society’s current upheaval.  

After getting a pass for centuries, it’s time to put them under the microscope. Because silent letters are the real freeloaders among us. Like verbal vampires, they survive off the lifeforce of others. Without attaching themselves to an otherwise healthy host word, they are rendered useless. As I see it, there are only two options going forward. Either we get rid of them or start pronouncing them. That’s it. Words like ballet and gnat are the main culprits of this culture of silence. French etymology can't be an excuse in 2020.

The other, clear necessary change is to amend the constitution and do away with the 5^th Amendment. You should not only have the right to incriminate yourself but should be encouraged to do so. Saying the wrong thing sure beats saying nothing.