All politics is yokel

 

What’s crazy is that there are a few dozen remaining agitators still wandering the planet who believe they can avoid politics altogether. It’s not for them, they say. As if politics are a voluntary indulgence, like croquet or another geriatric game of leisure. The elderly deserve an aerobic form of gambling that involves more than pulling a lever on a slot machine. It's why we give them mallets with their first social security check.

 

Politics are tied up in everything you do and everything you say. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t realize that. Hopefully, reading this changes your rather blasé attitude for the better. You may want to live in an apolitical world – or is it a political world? Nevertheless, it’s important to have the correct set of politics. Otherwise, what’s the point? As you go through your daily routine, you’ll start to see how politics bleed into everything you do in profound and unmistakable ways. The thing is, you don’t need more than a single strong example to hammer the point home.

 

What you want, what’s most important to you, is that you have a well-proportioned sandwich for lunch. That there be no more attempts to push salads or wraps. You do what comes naturally: Go to the deli and follow the supply chain. However, when’s the last time you interrogated your local hoagie man about his positions on nation building, healthcare, or immigration? It’s probably been too long. Yes he understands heroes in their breaded glory, but does he understand heroism in all its facets? 

Let’s say you find common ground with Sando Boy, commiserating about the estate tax while he selects the juiciest ball of mozzarella bobbing in a nearby bowl. That’s good news. What a relief, huh? Not so fast. What about the baker delivering that semolina you can’t live without? He's been heard saying "the war on poverty" was an actual war on poverty with tanks. He once said "great society" sarcastically with visible air quotes. Then there's the cheese monger with delicate digits. You’re lucky he didn’t choose a lucrative career in physical therapy, preferring to massage dairy products instead. These people are not without politics of their own. They have opinions on regime change and welfare reform – opinions you must know if you hope to actually enjoy your meal.

 

There’s more. Since you’ve grown tired of olive oil and vinegar, you opt for mayo. When’s the last time you considered the Mayonnaise cartels and condiment warlords spreading power so your lunch isn’t too dry? If there’s meat, how do you know that the turkey you’re enjoying wasn’t a reactionary bird with fascistic tendencies ruling the roost by fear. ? You don’t. Now, some would say, it’s better to eat an evil turkey than a good one – of this, there is still an open debate. But the point stands – you need to know what goes into that sandwich you thoughtlessly inhale. Making it on your own doesn’t eliminate any of these moral dilemmas. It makes it harder to get answers. 

 

And this is just lunch. A lot can happen between now and dinner.