Echo Locution

 

Interviews with difficult subjects are generally fraught and combative. That’s especially the case when producers insist on doing the whole thing underwater, without the benefit of a studio or lights. If you don’t understand what someone says the first time, the last thing you do is ask them to repeat it while gargling. That’s kind of what it’s like working from the briny deep. But John Dolphin, a cult figure within important mammalian circles, was worth this waterlogged hardship. Will I have to replace my computer and suede jacket posthaste? Possibly. But I learned a lot from 

 

MTP: I read somewhere that you’re a New York Jets fan. 

 

JD: That’s true. 

 

MTP: Is there a reason you don’t support your home team? 

 

JD: This is the problem with you people. 

 

MTP: What do you mean by “you people.”

 

JD:  Exactly what it sounds like. People are always assuming every animal is blindly loyal to the franchise that pays them lip service. It’s never been the case. Lemme tell you a story. There’s this blue jay I know, Barry, nesting up in north Jersey for sometime now. He makes it a point every season to attend as many Yankees games as he can when the Toronto Blue Jays are in town. He makes it a point to boo, or in his case, coo against the away team. The notion that Toronto gets to claim every blue jay as their own is as offensive as it is stupid. I’ve never liked the Miami Dolphins. For one thing, many fans refer to them as “the fish.” I’m not a fish.

 

MTP: Interesting. I read that Hurricane Sandy never even know that Carolina Hurricanes. 

 

JD: Hurricanes are a mostly summer phenomena. They don’t watch hockey.  

 

MTP: Is it true that you aspire to be king? 

 

JD: I’m a dolphin, not a dauphin. Check your notes or fire your assistant.

 

MTP: With pleasure. How does it feel that you’re not a whale? 

 

JD: Great, honestly. 

 

MTP: Don’t you deserve your own Moby Dick, or at least, a Brendan Fraser movie of equal quality? 

 

JD: Don’t you?

MTP: I thought this was going to be a harder conversation.

 

JD: Because you figured I’d be squeaking a lot. 

 

MTP: You gotta admit, many of your friends have the vocabulary of a beach ball. 

 

JD: I went to Deerfield, not SeaWorld. 

MTP: I only have about thirty more questions.

JD: I'm gonna need some air. 

MTP: Me too. Maybe we can finish up over the phone.

JD: I don't think so.