ProvocaTour

Today’s ProvocaTour is sponsored by an anonymous donor who’s generously offered his money, though not his name. He wouldn’t risk being publicly associated with something like this. First things first, let’s review the ground rules. No eating, no drinking, no wearing helmets. Tweeting is fine. But keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times and if you have to touch something, touch someone instead. Just make sure you have your lawyer nearby with a lengthy NDA.

Outside your left window, you’ll see a large hole in the ground where friends and associates are constantly tossing money into. Right beside it, is a slightly smaller, though far more meaningful depression. It’s a rabbit hole, naturally. Inside, there’s everything you ever wanted to know about random internet theories and pointlessly idiotic memes. Can you waste time inside? I mean, you could waste your whole life in there.

On the right be sure to notice a wide, eroding embankment. That’s what we call a slippery slope. The remainder of it may be in the ocean by the end of the tour. There’s hardly anything to it these days. The next portion of the tour features a wild animal. To simulate what happens, I am going to contradict the earlier stated ground rules and ask everyone to grab a long wooden stick. There’s a bear approaching the bus, so please, feel free to poke it as much as you want.  

Would you look at the time? Apparently, we’ve gone too far. The roadway is giving out. I hadn’t realized it, but we were on very thin ice. Hope everyone knows how to swim. That’s a wrap.