Friday, September 15, 2023

Cheeseburger in Inferno

 

The first thing Virgil said when he saw Jimmy Buffet was, “big fan.” 

 

The first thing Jimmy Buffet said when he saw Virgil was, “when am I getting to paradise?”

 

“We’ll get there, but I figured you’d prefer the scenic route,” said Virgil. 

 

Jimmy shrugged and they made their way through an ostensibly dark forest, it was brighter than he expected. He noticed a few bright lights and music in the distance.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“You don’t recognize it?”

 

“No, should I?”

 

Virgil smirked and motioned for him to walk closer. As they approached, Jimmy realized what it was.

 

“I forgot how much fun being a guide is, seeing the look on your face is more than worth my paltry per diem.”  

 

“Is that Margaritaville?” “It’s a…Margaritaville,” Jimmy said to his astonishment.

 

“You bet it is. No zoning laws here. Unlike upstairs, where the building codes get a bit more complicated. Fewer people around to bother you, but lots more rules.”

 

“I am kind of hungry,” said Jimmy, which surprised him. He assumed he would have lost his appetite due to the travel. 

 

“Let’s it to-go. Eat it on the road.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yes. I just wanted to show you around since your imprint is everywhere down here. But you personally, as a man, you’re going up.” 

 

“You had me worried for a second there.”

 

“No, don’t be. Besides, the food’s better down here. Easier to cook given the environment. No shortage of flames for charbroiled perfection. Burger?”

 

“Just don’t forget the cheese.” 

 

RIP

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