Attention Sans

Long ago, I once possessed the rare ability to fend off distractions with a flourish - sparklers, a bouquet of white roses and enough fireworks to blow a trash barge sky high. My attention span was long, smooth and showy. It bothered people how little I looked down at my phone or lost my train (or was it a car?) of thought. But those days are…where was I? Now, I look to goldfish for guidance, lording over their cloudy bowls, hoping to glean a few tips through osmosis, before they take that final, fateful swirl.  

This behavior has become routine. People stop in the middle of dangerous intersections to review the latest meme, ignoring the semi-trucks barreling past them. They put off opening their parachute miles above the planet, puckering up for a duck-faced skydiving selfie. Atop the world’s highest peaks, they pose theatrically despite the oxygen deprivation to their brain. Or maybe they're posing because of the oxygen deprivation to their brain. Still, it’s rather remarkable to witness this type of fearlessness. Bravery is directly proportional to your number of social media accounts. But we know there are consequences. How many dinner parties have to be ruined before someone takes a principled stand? 

We could try and fix it, repairing society from the inside out, encouraging people to stare at a bulbous cloud formation whenever they are inclined to check Instagram. But that’ll never work. What do you do at night? There’s always something, isn’t there? And I’ve already lost interest.

Advertising is in the distraction business - has been for a long time now. Too bad 30 second commercials feel like the indulgent director’s cut of Once Upon a Time in America. A tad on the long side. Who could possibly sit still for that? No ad is too short to satisfy the attention deficient masses. It’s time we in the business got ahead of the problem. No longer will we surrender to the wandering eyes of capricious consumers. We’ll tailor creative work in a way they can digest.  

I’m proposing designing supremely micro-content, easily palatable by even the most distractible among us. Nanosecond commercials will leave the consumer in a position they aren’t at all used to – actually wanting more. Craving content like never before. They’ll blink, they’ll cry, they’ll bang their devices in rage, yelling out for the rest. 

Economically speaking. this will be a serious boon to the industry, finally giving it a way out of the darkness. You can shoot millions of commercials in the time it usually takes to produce three or four. Not bad.

It’s hard to skip something that only lasts one billionth of a second. But that doesn't mean people won't try.