Claudine

 

Claudine, Claudine, Claudine, Claudine

I’m beggin’ of you, please don’t take my work

Claudine, Claudine, Claudine, Claudine

Please don’t cite it with just a smirk

Your chutzpah is beyond compare, with piercing looks, not self-aware

With shamelessness that makes a scene

Your resume has a familiar ring, but what’s with that big whiteout stain? 

And I cannot cheat like you, Claudine

 

Harvard worried about your bleep, but there’s nothing about you that’s too deep

Not your lengthy Times Op-Ed, Claudine

But honestly, did you write it first or copy from a peer who felt coerced?

But you don’t know how to apologize, Claudine

 

Claudine, Claudine, Claudine, Claudine

I’m beggin’ of you, please don’t try to teach

Claudine, Claudine, Claudine, Claudine

Please don’t pretend you support free speech

 

They caved to the mob and now you need a new job

You could go back to school, Claudine

Maybe take a remedial course in how to properly source

Or whatever you decide to do, Claudine

 

Claudine, Claudine, Claudine, Claudine

I’m beggin’ of you, please Thank God for your paychecks 

Claudine, Claudine, Claudine, Claudine

Please take it easy with your martyr complex