The following is a diverse list of articles I sent to The New York Times opinion section for immediate publication. They remain in submission limbo, neither accepted or rejected, destined for an eternity in the unread portion of an editor's mailbox. Until now.
A pigeon defecated on my shoulder; now I understand the absurdity of high fashion
Yes, you should absolutely interrupt people more
Why I freak out when I see cookies of any kind on a dessert menu
Stop asking me if the milk smells okay
Why pickleball should be outlawed and its proponents incarcerated
The beauty of being very wrong about nearly everything
Put that champagne flute down: the finest glassware for toasting
The case against reading
When a pimple is a metaphor
The real reason most electricians have stopped using the phrase “not the brightest bulb”
You too, huh?
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