They ain’t makin’ artists like Kinky Friedman anymore

 

Well, a Brooklyn hipster in a stupid shirt

Was a-sippin fancy craft beer

Talking nonsense and uh-politics for all the world to hear

“You oughta read this Twitter thread, boy

Or listen to me, son

You just wanna provoke your audience,

And you forget that God is done.

I said, “has it occurred to you, you hipster

That that’s not very nice

We, artists believe it was Willie Nelson who defined the zeitgeist

You know, you don’t look artistic, he said

Near as I could finger

I had you stamped for a slightly sophomoric

Well-dressed country singer

No, they ain’t makin’ artists like Kinky anymore

They don’t write funny songs the way they done before

He started in to shoutin’ and a-spittin’ on the floor

Lord, they ain’t makin’ artists like Kinky anymore

He says, “I ain’t pretentious, but

Johnny Cash is one singer we don’t need

And them fiddlers, okies and old folkies 

All they ever do is read

And dopes ‘n boobs ‘jokes ‘n rubes ‘n noobs

Are on my list

And there’s one little genius in the heart of Texas

Is there anyone I missed?

Well, I hits him with everything I had
Right square between the eyes
I says, "I'm gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch
For spoutin' that pack of lies
If there's one thing I can't abide
It's a pretentious ass
Now you take back that thing you said
'Bout Mister Johnny Cash

 

No, they ain’t makin’ artists like Kinky anymore

They don’t get irreverent, preferring to make 'em snore

You could hear that doofus holler like a typical college bore

Lord, they ain’t makin’ artists like Kinky anymore

RIP