Don't hold your brief

  

Briefs roll across my desk every day. Maybe not roll, but clunk. Folded or filtered depending on the assignment. Boxers, too. But that’s another matter entirely. On the subject of advertising briefs, I’m hardly an expert. Which in this day and age gives me rare authority to expound without reservations or an inkling of shame.

Background

Walla Walla Widgets welcomed wild wackos working willfully wage-free while waterboarding world-class wunderkinds who were weak writers.

Note

With a debilitating addiction to alliteration, the company confused consumers. That was the goal - to confound and curtail. And as tempting as it is to rhyme words with widget – watch out. Flip that "w" upside down and wait for the pitchforks to form outside your apartment.

Objective

Boost brand awareness by 100%. This shouldn’t be difficult since it’s currently resting near zero. Create a campaign that changes the world one widget at a time. 

Target Audience

Men, women, children. Think people who are over the age of 5, since some of our more notorious widgets contain tiny parts and with them, a clear choking hazard. Think people under 100. We should have to tell them about the Russian Revolution, since they were not alive to witness it firsthand. Neither were they around to participate, sickling and hammering or whatever else their comrades wanted. They spend time with their family. They spend time at work. Their income bracket isn’t as important as how much they appreciate the feel of liquid cash. Although, cash in a blender gets messy on occasion. Since widgets are tactile, this is very important. Keep in mind anyone who’s ever commented on the crispness of a dollar bill after taking a big healthy whiff. They work with their hands but sometimes lick them – but only if the meal is sufficiently succulent. 

Brand Voice

Human, but not too human. Dogs should understand our ads as much as children. We’ve gone to the trouble of creating a new language, widgish, with the help of emeritus professors and mental patients. Headlines should be written in widgish while subheads should be in English and legal copy can be in placed in font so small you can't tell if it's hieroglyphics or prison tally marks counting the days in solitary confinement. 

Insight

Most people have no idea what a widget is. Let’s keep it that way. 

Execution requirements

Yes, please.