Panel Discussion

If one person is pretty good discussing an important topic, what about two people, both of whom are "experts"? Wait, I have an idea. Let’s try 5 – that’s a good number, a strong number. While we’re at it changing stuff, a moderator belongs in there, too. Someone to hold things together, keeping the participants from straying too far off topic. Personal anecdotes, long-winded digressions, and amusing asides are ways people try and win back the audience after a gaffe. The discussion is streaming on-line, recorded for posterity, and an artifact for future generations to marvel at and question why it took place in the first place. People actually paid money to hear this? 

Apparently. With that, the panel discussion begins. 

 

“Wood paneling remains the gold standard. Okay, the wood standard of faux-wall interior décor.” 

 

“Have you seen what they’re doing with brick paneling these days? It suspends all disbelief.” 

"This is nearish Brooklynish. The conversation begins and end with brownstone paneling."

 

“Don’t sleep on foam paneling. I too ignored it for years.”

 

“Technically, of the three types of paneling discussed here today, foam paneling is the one type of paneling a person could comfortably and easily get some shuteye on. Just saying.”

 

“You’re missing my point. After opening a home recording studio, foam is the way to go. Now I just need some great beats to match my ribald rap rhymes.” 

 

“Very good. Any questions from the audience?”

 

“You barely touched on the benefits of wood paneling. Why is it better than the others?”

 

“I like that cozy, cabin feel it has.”

 

“It used to have. These days, wood paneling is more associated with a podcast studio than a podunk ski lodge. And that’s a real shame.”

 

“Have you ever considered not paneling a room? As in, would you simply paint it over?”

 

“You want to paint? Then paint. But this is a panel discussion and it will remain one as long as the lights are on.”

 

“I find it odd that you’re seated in front of a massive curtain and projection screen. How are we supposed to take your assessments seriously when you can’t even be bothered enough to install a few makeshift panels as a three-dimensional visual aid. I should be able to know what you're talking about with earplugs in.”

 

“You want to know the truth? We couldn’t agree. There are the wood partisans, as always. But more often than not, someone wants to add a new type of weird material like PVC or stone. A thick curtain turned out to be the consensus.”

 

“Are you going to address how ugly wood paneling is? Seems pretty obvious.”

“Not to us.”

 

“What are the curtains made of?”

 

“That’s something you can find out during tomorrow’s flannel discussion.”