What’s the Hackstory?

 

Television commercials, unlike other popular works of art, tend not to interest historians. Their focus is elsewhere, on stuff that ends up under glass, mummified for eternity. So it’s been a real boon to the advertising community to learn that the origins of many recent commercials are being extremely well-documented. Just what we needed. Otherwise, future generations won’t appreciate the particular staying power of robot dogs. They might wonder where are all the robot cats and robot squirrels went. Thankfully, the record is being corrected as we speak. A hologram of the late Studs Terkel has been doing the animatronic lion’s share of the work. Finally, no one has to wonder where genius comes from.

Here are a few excerpts from Terkel’s upcoming work, where he interviewed hundreds if not dozens of self-proclaimed industry disruptors recounting their fleeting moments in the sun. Not in the shadow of the sun, well-lit and full of Vitamin D, but straight into that great big burning ball of fire, positively Icarusian in spirit and ambition.  

“So I told the team, you don’t need an idea when you can make an obscure reference to an 80s action movie.”

“Other works of art can have sequels, why can’t commercials? I don’t remember anyone criticizing Michelangelo when he returned to the Sistine Chapel, a quarter century after painting the ceiling to put a few finishing touches on the altar wall.”

“Celebrities will do anything for money.”

"It's called the SNL technique. Write one joke and repeat it over and over. There isn't much more to it than that." 

"The product isn't important."

"Let's poll the room: what's your favorite TV show? If the main characters drove a car in the original show then we can use that to our advantage now."

“My aunt drinks bleach. Says it works better than probiotics.”

“Regular people miss screensavers.”

“We can’t drink to excess, but why can’t machines? Imagine the existential ennui of a toaster compared to your accountant.” 

 

“Who directed that depressing movie that won a bunch of awards? Someone get her on the horn. I bet she likes beer.”

“No one knows what an Ancient Greek accent sounds like. For all we know, it sounded just like an Austrian one.”

"I'd enjoy more tongue twisters if they weren't so hard to say."

I’m looking forward to the book’s release. Then again, I might just wait for the YouTube supercut.