Technological progress has left many of us confused and distraught, incapable of adapting to the constant changes. It seems like only yesterday that my assistant was bragging about our office’s new fax machine. Or that the horsepower of my morning commute was measured on hoof of an actual horse. Nevertheless, there is another piece of Americana destined for the trash heap after the digital revolution claims yet another innocent victim.
I’m talking of course about bulletin boards. The naïve and lazy welcome anything that steers them clear of an accidental thumbtack pricking. Personally, I have always enjoyed the risk. Maybe it’s why the presence of dangerously sharp paper cutters in every classroom at my elementary school was not seen as a hazard, but as a way to teach students to watch their extremities.
The thing about bulletin boards is they are not just used by people wishing to promote their weekend dance troupe or a bake sale. Bulletin boards, at their best, are rather illustrative. Pinning up photographs and using yarn to connect the dots gives the impression of having a handle on any situation.
Make no mistake about it: everyone loves bulletin boards. Criminal profilers swear by them, often tacking large maps during an ongoing investigation. But this isn’t simply something good guys can get behind. Bad guys love them, too. Cutting out magazines and circling heads with a red grease pencil is practically mandatory if you’re starting up a criminal enterprise. Conspiracy theories remain theories without bulletin boards. They help the theorist see their work in three dimensions. So it won’t be the same if all this juicy data is kept on an iPad. Without the moment when the cops walk through the door and see their high school yearbook photo pinned into cork is sure to make society significantly poorer.
Bad people and good people aside, there’s another group of bulletin boosters we can’t ignore. Crazy people. Every would-be genius knows that to show off their beautiful mind, they need several boards for “calculations” and “breakthroughs.” This can’t go digital. It can’t. There is something romantic about a borderline personality frothing at the mouth while digging for the perfect tack. And there's nothing romantic about doing it on the "The Cloud" or via a YouTube algorithm.
Think of what will we’ll lose. I haven’t even mentioned what I’m going to do with bowl of 10,000 thumbstacks in my living room. I shudder at the thought. Bulletin boards make bad ideas look great. Everything looks cooler in a semi-collage. Please, will you think of the children?
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