Thursday, March 23, 2023

Shohei Ohtani Is Better Than…

 

Much has been written in the last week since Shohei Ohtani struck out Mike Trout in some sort of exhibition called the “World Baseball Classic.” Many have decided that Mr. Ohtani is now comfortably ahead of Mr. George Herman “Babe” Ruth as the greatest player of all time. Despite having played only 5 seasons and leading the league in two categories (triples and the prestigious caught stealing), it’s time we put him in the pantheon. Induct him now into Cooperstown – why wait? But since he’s already put away his baseball competition on ice, why not go a step further? I would say the man can hold his own against anyone who’s ever lived. 


I can’t recall Albert Einstein throwing a baseball over 100 MPH despite hedging with his theory of relativity.


Mozart never hit a 400-foot home run. Beethoven lacked opposite field power. And Bach wasn’t known for his plate coverage. 


I’m pretty sure Galileo couldn’t speak Japanese.


Is there a record of Euclid wearing a fitted cap? I doubt it. 


When did Jesus throw a wicked curveball? 


There’s nothing I can find about Napoleon beating out an infield hit. 


Many compare him to unicorns, as if the comparison is fair to the mythical beasts. But where are all the unicorns batting cleanup? And don’t tell me their horn is a bat. I’d like to see them try and bunt with that thing. Good luck.


While he’s better than people, like any hero, he happens to be better than places and things as well.


The printing press was a nice addition to civilization, but it couldn’t paint the corners, could it?


Everyone raves about Tulum as a vacation destination, yet I haven’t heard anything about the holiday getaway ever lacing a homer into the upper deck. 


So if you’re getting married and you’re looking for a best man, I think he’s playing for the Angels. Though maybe “playing” isn’t the accurate verb. More like perfecting. 

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