Scientists Still Unable to Explain Andy Borowitz’s Career

 

SWITZERLAND

In an undisclosed location outside of Bern, a team of the brightest minds came to a conclusion, which many experts had been expecting for some time now; that the comedy career of Andy Borowitz defies simple logic and basic scientific principles. The team had searched for decades trying to ascertain what explained the writer’s inexplicable appeal. Their hard work yielded little in the way of clear answers. 

However, the research was not without its minor discoveries. One breakthrough a few years ago focused on Borowitz’s ability to push the boundaries of humor. Not in the sense of edginess or irreverence, but by expanding the definition of comedy itself. He was able to take jokes to a place where few were able to see it as a joke. This transformative style of satire is unequaled, except for perhaps a straight reading of the phone book. Then there was his platform. The team experimented by replacing the famous New Yorker typeface with a sans-serif font like “Calibri” to see if it had the same impact. It didn’t. Though it did seem to cure insomnia in a majority of participants. 

The team hit many dead ends when it discovered that many of his columns were indistinguishable from news columns and blogs. He found a professional goldilocks zone – not too smart, not too funny, and never too long. How he did that exactly? They never found out.

A constant source of frustration was the dearth of volunteers. As the years went on, it can be harder and harder to entice people to devote an hour or two to analyzing The Borowitz Report. One possible answer can be found in the first syllable of his last name. In a sense, humor requires only a furrowed brow or a slight smile. Laughing isn't necessary. 

Plenty of life’s biggest questions remain mysterious and unknowable. Because when you aren’t in on the joke, there’s a good chance you are the joke.