A Humbling Idiot

It’s advertising awards season again. Which means that I must show off my wares, championing the wild ideas that have somehow made their way into the world, floating down the river of creativity like Moses in a basket. Did they really happen? Does it really matter? The advertising Old Guard is still hung up on making actual “ads.” But the joke’s on them. A good idea – to say nothing of a great one – must not only change culture, it must shift people, causing a literal stampede and temporary insanity in those who come across it. Thankfully, some of my most cherished ideas have risen to the top, bubbling up and frothing over. I’m already in awe of this segue. You’ll see.

Bud Light Foam was born on the sticky surfaces of many a wooden bar, pooling along the edge and destroying the varnish drop-by-drop. There, I noticed that while most people prefer their beer frothless, there are some of us, “cloud eaters”, who prefer a little foam, reminiscent of that fine ocean sizzle rippling its way to shore. Our staff data scientists found that 89% of people would rather eat bad foam than drink a good brew. It’s cotton candy for adults – an unexpected, always welcomed dessert. We don’t like it when the bartender apologizes or someone makes a biting remark about our inability to pour properly. So we created limited-edition collector’s six packs of pure Bud Light Foam, the heady essence of beer. Get it while it lasts, which is to say, before it evaporates. 

Full Plate was a partnership with Tinder, where we sought to reunite license plates with their original inmatefluencers.

Talking Shoes have replaced walking shoes. Or, at least, that was the case in the case study. Instead of following the news closely for every subtle development, leave it to your shoes to stay on top of things. Your shoes, Nikes, will lecture you on every subject from war and peace, to sports and politics. Don’t know what to think about something? Just go for a jog and Nike Talking Shoes will fill you in point-by-point step-by-step.  

Gas Guzzlers was a publicity stunt where we paid down-on-their-luck circus performers to guzzle gasoline. You know it’s bad for the environment, but there you are, still humming along the highway fancy-free. If your SUV gets 12 miles per gallon, then our erstwhile acrobat would run that distance after guzzling the right amount of fuel. We had medics standing by and the smell was overwhelming for our camera crew. But our point was made. 

Fired Blankets were distributed at agencies before a big round of layoffs. Everything’s a little easier to take when ensconced in wooly fiberglass.  

These weren’t first thoughts. They were no thoughts, ideas that came about from nothing and turned into nothing. They weren’t shortlisted so much as they were no-listed. Like the foam forming before you, they’ll be gone before you know it.