Hitsch

 

Contrarians are an interesting species in these wacky times. They are seen as either kneejerk reactionaries or reactionary jerks kneeing rivals in their most sensitive places. But even the most ardent contrarians don’t have it wrong all the time. 

 

Basically, all it is, is basic math. Some are reflexively hostile to those deemed their intellectual foes, disagreeing not based on what someone says but who is saying it. Frankly, it’s much easier to roam through public discourse in such a manner than to honestly and articulately contend with opposing arguments. Imagine a person who forms their own opinion at every juncture, assessing and reassessing, unconcerned that their words may be misinterpreted by the wrong people. It’s far simpler to accept their participation on a team and leave it at that. Team members might get uniforms with their name on the back and a nice new hat to go along with it. 

 

This way, they don't have to parse the issues, diving deep into the underbelly of foreign policy or any other subject piquing interest at the time. Contrarians merely have to go against the grain, the stream, the status quo enough to stand out. Which in itself is a form of conformity. Surely solidarity among a tribe ought to count for something. 

 

It’s why the finest contrarians out there are as predictable as the most conventional people on the scene. They don’t worry about fully comprehending an issue as complex as healthcare. All they need is to figure out what Dave - their Twitter nemesis - says and they know just how to zag. You see, that’s the secret, really. What they’re doing isn’t carving positions but rather filling shadows, only as substantive as necessary.

 

Now, of course, there is one school of thought that says when a person actually thinks for themselves they might end up pissing a lot of people off. It’s not their intention, though it can be exhilarating taking down sacred cows (especially when famous for their hatred of milk, favoring a darker, stronger beverage). These people though aren’t contrarians – not purely. They are rarer, since they are following some inner code of ethics, guiding them through the world. Much different than reacting to your enemies in an expected way, never siding with the “bad people.” 

 

The best contrarians march in their own lockstep, slightly off beat from the crowd, but in still in rhythm with their followers. Many go on social media believing their perceived cleverness is proof of genius. They seek adulation from other places, trolling for clicks and clicking for trolls. They have a brand to maintain, after all. These people still want to be part of a club, popular with a certain crowd, kowtowing with the best of them.  

These folks are poseurs, frauds, charlatans, hucksters, and serial prevaricators. Embarrassing imitations of sharper images from a different past. They copy the worst of someone and lean in, as only a cheap copy can. Still, it make for a breezier, entertaining read. There aren't enough balconies for all these middling malefactors to loom over their herds.

 

Then again, the worst contrarians aren’t really contrarians. They think for themselves, which is pretty bad for business. They’re all right sitting alone at the end of the bar, brooding and stewing, reading and scowlling. They’re not in it for friendship or camaraderie. Frankly, they don’t care. They’re in it for conversation, for debate, for the possibility, however remote they might change their mind or they might change someone else's. 

Ten years sure is a long time without it.