Gullible's Travels

When Gullible was a young boy, he’d sit by the port, watching the tall ships arrive and depart. It was here he learned the word “embark.” At first, it seemed like a superior canine gesture. Did you see the postman today? He barely survived after the guard dog nearly embarked him. A captain corrected him, an ongoing theme throughout his life. 

Whenever the sailors walked ashore, Gullible asked them where they were going. They usually answered, unless they were awash in drink, giving their sea legs the consistency of seaweed. The gelatinous joints of a liver-spotted lech. Some mentioned the West Indies, where the natives were over 20 feet tall. Or Mars, where Columbus retired after his Transatlantic voyages. He thought he was on Jupiter, but navigational errors never seemed to bother Genoa’s second favorite export after any dangling salame.

Gullible worked up the courage to join his nautical heroes aboard the deck of a recent arrival. Or that’s what they told him it was. “Staten Island Ferry” loosely translated to “Spanish Galleon Ferry.” The first mate blindfolded Gullible, telling him it would cure his seasickness. A old pirate’s trick, which also included sucking on a lime for the duration of the cruise. When they landed about thirty minutes later, Gullible was told that time is different on the high seas. What felt like thirty minutes was actually weeks. And the language the people on shore were speaking was not English but what’s called a “mirror tongue.” It only seems like they’re speaking English. Gullible was hungry after the crossing, made worse by realizing he hadn’t eaten or slept in weeks, excluding lime juice, of course. 

Now ready to return to their port of origin, Gullible said he wanted to stay and make it work. This was his first time visiting the tropics and their culture intrigued him. He was also quite taken by the skyscraper mirage in the distance. Cloud formations that appeared to look exactly like the lower Manhattan Skyline. First thing though, he had to pay the Captain. It’s not like the ferry was free.