You're Reaching

There’s an old Scottish saying, “happy wife, happy fife.” The best way to know a phrase isn’t contrived or complete and utter nonsense is when it rhymes. If it’s catchy, it can’t by definition be inane piffle. I have heard a lot from otherwise stupid people that, "freedom of speech, something something, freedom of reach." It has that same golden ring found among the peatiest bogs north of Aberdeen. So what does it mean?

I have an idea. You can moralize, you can expound, you can lay out while laying out a case for anything from the silky boundaries of a King Sized bed. But what you can’t always do is reach for the ringing alarm clock on the other side of the bed. You can’t reach for the remote to turn the AC down to truly tundral climate. You can’t get that thing you dropped behind the headboard years before. Too bad. It’s really starting to smell now. You can’t stay in bed all day and remain a high functioning criminal defense attorney. Sometimes the aches and pains from the previous day disqualify you from hopping out with the bounce a fresh tennis ball. 

It happens elsewhere. In the car when you parked, it’s pouring and you can’t quite reach the golf umbrella wedged under the backseat. A shame. To stay dry, you’ll have to get wet. A Confucian conundrum if there ever was one. 

There are even moments when you can’t reach a true equilibrium without accounting for alternate realities. After a rather hearty meal, I’ll ask myself out loud if I have reached genuine fullness. It’s a tricky question, since while I might be full here, it’s very possible I’m still hungry in the metaverse. I grab an extra biscotti or two and that often does the trick. 

There’s also the case of self-appreciation. Sometimes, despite doing everything right, one’s own natural agility can prevent reaching the back for a quick, complimentary pat. You may be reflexive, but are you flexible? Dislocation is a constant risk. 

But you know what they say. Freedom of speech, freedom of reach, freedom to preach. Although, you can’t necessarily pick your choir. That’s usually up to the higher ups.