3…2…what is it? Suddenly, after applying makeup, blush, a little rouge, and a flowing fake mustache, you have problem with my camera. I told you I was going to use my phone. It’s 2022, people take pictures with their phones now. Look at it the shot. You’re fine, the background is fine. It won’t hang in the National Portrait Gallery, but for your purposes, I wouldn’t complain too much.
I don’t have a polaroid camera. In fact, who even has a polaroid camera? Do you know what year this is? That sort of kitsch is beneath my self-respect and well-above my pay grade. I’m doing this as a favor, only since you asked me. And now, I’m starting to regret it.
I told you already, shooting on film means we have to wait for the roll to be developed and then get things printed. It might take a week. Can you wait that long? You’re willing to wait a month if that’s what it takes.
Sorry, but I can’t afford a Hasselblad on such short notice. I know the Apollo astronauts used them. But you’re going to Massapequa, not the moon.
Let’s get this over with, okay? Mugshots aren’t usually taken by friends. I’ll see you at the trial.
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