Now that professional golf has been subsumed by the infinitely wealthy Saudi royal family, many are left wondering: what’s next? People are worried about the domino effect this power play will have on other storied institutions. Personally, I couldn’t care less about golf changing hands. This is the game of country club elitists and plaid pantsed weirdos. Those who toss tiny blades of grass in the air in a serious display of weather assessment. What other sport lets you take an assistant around with you? What else is a caddy than a well-paid concierge? I prefer my sports to have athletes only within the field of play. The point is this: let them have golf. Their country is one big sand trap anyway, so why not give it a little more green?
But I wouldn’t be too worried until the desert desperadoes begin picking off things Americans truly care about. Penthouse apartments on Park Avenue? Better take ‘em while the Russian oligarchs assets are still frozen. I’m don’t care about soccer or cricket.
Let’s say the House of Saud starts to make inroads in the small, yet impactful world of Italian delis. Or worse – bagel shops. What if they go after dive bars, trading in wood panels for smooth linoleum? How about the underground world of neighborhood bocce ball, dice, or backroom billiards?
The Saudis can have pro golf. When they take retiree shuffleboard is when I’ll start to worry.
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