Moral Repellent

 

Morals have a tendency of getting in the way of a good time or a bad argument. They can ruin a family dinner or a first date. But with a generous lathering of moral repellent, you can live as a blissful ignoramus. 

You shouldn’t have to worry about morals when talking to strangers or posting on social media. You should be able to do all those things and more in a tight vacuum of mindless rhetoric. 

Moral repellent was first developed during the Cold War when coffee house folkies wanted a way to support the Soviet Union while ignoring the crimes of Stalin. Let’s just say it wasn’t done through clever songwriting. 

The only issue with moral repellent is proper application. Unlike say, bug spray, you don’t need to re-apply over and over. There’s enough toxicity in one dose to change your values for good. Not only that, but it doesn’t even smell. In fact, you want to get it in your eyes since that will help alter the way you see the world.