Martyr Sauce

 

At the end of a long day of public moralizing and grandstanding, most people could use a late-night snack. Exaggeration makes most people quite hungry. The trouble is that the typical food available in the wee hours has an extreme grease factor, which can make it hard to consume smoothly. The last thing you want during a nosh like this is to take a break. Breaks give you a moment to reflect and consider your recent decisions. 

You don’t need that though. What you need is a way to eat without consequences or unnecessary pauses. So you can power through any second thoughts or second desserts, whichever comes up first. 

Martyr sauce always does the trick. It can resurrect the bland meal and turn it into a jihad on the senses. Or, if you prefer, a holy war for your tastebuds. You’ll get so much undeserved sympathy and undue praise, that by the time the check comes, the waiter will be tipping you.