Stop Digging

When I overheard people discuss “J school” I always assumed it was some coded phrase connoting collegiate jocularity. Backslapping and sidesplitting remarks about the big game, the big dance, or the big indictment. Little did I know that budding Bernsteins and wishful Woodwards were straightening those tiny press cards jutting out of their fedoras to make it clear to one and all that they were miles away from boring civilian life. They were journalists, poking and prodding people into answering the toughest of questions.

Under normal circumstances, I believe I’d appreciate the alleged merits of “gotcha journalism.” That’s if the technique had it included unmumbled gotchas. But never once during a supposed adversarial interview have I noticed anyone standing on a table, pointing at a guest, laughing in their face, or stomping. It’s just not done. They don’t get anyone. Where’s the spiking of one’s lavalier or the destruction of a light stand in a show of victorious ecstasy?

There’s a moment in every article where the reader reaches his or her capacity for information. Like a good meal, they can’t keep eating and eating until the end of time. At a certain point, one must flag down a waiter and get the check. The time is to digest, not to look at the dessert menu. Journalism isn’t that different. We, as readers, want to know the basics of any story but that’s about it. It’s why headlines carry so much weight these days. What’s more important that a compelling pun or some bold font in 72-point. 

In other words, it’s time to stop digging. Put your shovels away and go home. We’re not interested in the rest of the story. We have more than enough to satisfy our cravings. Because when you’re crouched over a massive hole wondering whether or not it’s deep enough, the very question reveals the answer. Of course, it’s deep enough. What were you expecting? Something more than an arrowhead or a few worms? 

You weren’t getting to China anyway. And you definitely weren’t doing it with those tools. Hope you don’t have any trouble filling in the rest.