A Moment of Avuncularity

Children are little people but they’re not exactly little people either. They are something else. And they run the world by proxy. Adults living under their spell have no hope to do anything else besides comply. So they wait on them hand and foot, suffering under their yoke, throwing grand parties with instructional videos, hired magicians, and extra cake. The kids are thankful, for the most part. Yet they are willing to risk everything just for a nap. They’ll get up in the middle of an event thrown solely for them and simply leave. Very few adults with two feet firmly planted in reality ever exhibit such a shameless power move amid pastries and professional rabbit wranglers.

Kids could still use some advice from time to time. Not mindless lessons in etiquette either. That’s for the parents. For the rest of us, it’s best to avunculate when we can. Uncles are not employed to inform children which fork is a salad fork and how to properly fold a napkin like a limping swan. They are there to have a catch or tell a joke, recommend a good book or enlist a young person’s help in the daunting job of husking corn.   

America has always had a desire to be the world’s foremost uncle, but an uncle should be fun, not strict. An uncle is not a disciplinarian or a surrogate parent. An uncle is not a cop or a taskmaster. An uncle is there to light a roman candle or wash a ’67 Corvette, recall a funny story or wear a funny hat. An uncle should toggle between cool and crazy, a fine line few can walk. 

Everyone looks forward to the arrival of a fun uncle to a party. They are more entertaining than a tray of baked goods or a table of balloon animals. They lead by example, not by force. You might adopt their strut or style, but that’s up to you.  

Smart uncles don’t try to change fully formed adults. They do what they can, when they can. They leave an impression, but leave the party when it’s over. They aren’t living on your pull-out in the basement, waiting at breakfast to impart pre-dawn guidance competing with the coffee aroma and bacon smell. They’ll be back when they’re back. 

Truthtellers and soothsayers alike abound in their deference to the potent power of sage advice delivered by someone other than a parent. As if the sheer act of non-parental direction is worth it for that mere fact alone. It isn’t.

The world could still use more uncles though.. Less Uncle Sam, more Uncle Leo.