The Western Cannon

What are we supposed to do with books that have defined our civilization for centuries but through many faults of their own fallen out of favor? It’s a good question, one best left to ponder over toast and orange juice at a breakfast table or nook. In other words, in your own home, far from the wandering eyes of a public with countless scores to settle, beefs as it were. But steak is not on the menu this morning.

The thing is, we’re not meant to keep reading these classics, pretending like nothing’s changed. How can a person in good conscience read The Divine Comedy without acknowledging how netherworlds have adversely affected the climate? You can either have the nine circles of Hell or you can have criminal justice reform – but you can’t have both. You can’t exuberantly cheer the removal of fingernails from Ostrogoth leaders for all of eternity and also remain cautiously optimistic that compassion will replace punishment as a hallmark of modern society. This mind you, is just Dante. Imagine what happens when I get to the others. 

Something must be done. The problem with book burnings is that they have too many ugly connotations (not to mention the fumes). Plus, it takes so long to get going and there’s no big moment like during a sporting event. Whoever’s in charge lets you know when the last book has been turned to ash and everybody quietly gets up and goes home. This act of supreme sublimation deserves a little flare, no? 

Indeed it does. In my canon studies, I have come across many cannons that go unnoticed and unloved by a citizenry preoccupied with shinier devices. These traditional forms of persuasion are found in cemeteries and national parks, lonely from disuse, ignored by people who’ve forgotten the joy of lighting a match. 

It’s why I’m encouraging their refurbishment for a good cause. Aiming west, towards the sunset, I’d like to see the great books of literature shot towards the sun. Is 93 million miles a little far fro the average cannon? Probably. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try. Do it over a body of water if you’re concerned about fallout or fire.  

This is a statement. This is where old books go to die. Don’t wait too long to get started. The sun won't be around forever.