The Grass is always Grass

 

 

When you’re standing on your deck, sweeping up leaves and other expected detritus of the suburban homeowner, it’s all about perspective. In this case, that means standing several feet above the sea level, safe from both a future flood swell and passing Jehovah’s witnesses flooding your mailbox with admittedly intriguing religious literature. While you’re peering onto your neighbor’s manicured yard, it’s easy to get caught up in the rivalries that sprout up on every block like poisonous mushrooms after a torrential downpour. 

You admire their birdhouses, wishing yours had the same structural integrity. You gaze across at their deck, dreaming of yours, rid of termites once and for all.

But the grass is always grass. Even artificial grass is a type of grass. It’s just one you don’t have to water or mow. Although you may still have to clean up after your pooch since they can’t really tell the difference. 

And despite what you may have heard, it’s not always greener since these days that has very little to do with a verdant hue extending from your patio to the driveway. Want a green yard? Then you better make room for a Tesla, at least one wind turbine, and a full-time influencer giving a TED talk from your barbecue pit 24-hours a day.