I’m not one to dole out advice. And I’m usually not one to use “dole” in a sentence. It’s not because I don’t possess worthwhile knowledge – because I do. Nor is it because I'm a Chiquita man. Frankly, I have an overflowing surplus of the stuff you call "wisdom" or juicy brain nuggets. But giving it away for free strikes me as absurd in this age of hyper-monetization. So I wait – wait for someone to ask and offer up a fair price. Today’s different though. Maybe it’s the snow or that I’ve already moved my car to the legal side of the street. Whatever it is, I’m feeling remarkably and unusually generous. Like a total eclipse, this mood of mine won’t last for long. You simply have to read it to believe it. Try not to stare.
You need a platform. Everyone needs a platform. Did you already know that? Not the way I see it. You are only thinking in terms of social media and the few famous platforms constantly bandied about on talk shows I don’t watch and in columns I don’t read. What they don’t tell you is that the type of platform is beside the point. Pick any platform you like and watch as your career is instantly made better.
Me? I want a vertical advantage. Even the craziest, drooling mad dog knows that a milk crate provides the perfect amount of moral high ground necessary to command a serious following of attentive automatons. To be above the fray, you need to actually be above it. Good thing platforms come in many sizes, shapes and materials.
Why waste your time learning the ins and outs of brand new apps when all you have to do is hang around the back of a liquor store. When they aren’t looking, toss several pallets in your open trunk. Put ‘’em together and there you have it – your very own platform. From there you are free to survey and comment on the fuller world that's now in view. Should the boozed up working stiffs see you absconding with their hard-won wood, throw them a couple bucks and make peace. They’ll part with it as long as you offer a reasonable rate. Not unlike me when confronted by demented advice-seekers.
One thing to keep in mind though. The higher you get, the harder you fall.
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