I wish imparting wisdom and fostering productivity were as easy as passing a deadly airborne pathogen. From my experience, it’s anything but. Unsuccessful people claim they want to follow your lead, emulate your every move, but in practice, they usually fall short of their goal. That’s where the unsuccess comes into play. However, after being stuck in any waiting room left to marvel at the proliferation of inspirational posters (the original meme) I devised a list of simple rules, when adopted, should guarantee a gilded life of leisure and luxury.
Open Your Fridge
Not a crack, but a full swing. A lot of people don’t know what’s in their fridge (a sure sign of success). That’s how it should be. When your fridge is packed with impulse purchases and exotic delicacies, you’re most likely halfway to a new tax bracket. Grab the first thing you see and down it – finish it. Whether it be relish, almond milk or something a bit heartier. Don’t look at the date, silly. This will help you gain a different perspective on the world.
Yachting
You don’t like yachts? Too bad. Like golfing, you’re going to have to enjoy them when you make you start raking in millions.
Yawn
Without a good yawn how do you expect to dismiss idiotic business proposals from dear friends and deranged strangers? For the yawn-averse, it comes to words and statements. Words provide wiggle room and the possibility of having your mind changed. Each yawn contains multitudes and more firmness than the average foot going down.
Tito’s Principle
Credit and promote the dumbest people around you. It’ll make you look much better by contrast. So then when you leave the company, people will say “I guess he was a one-man-wrecking crew, sui generis, or something.” Many claim Steve Jobs was a real visionary, but look at Apple now? The company appears to be just fine without his daily presence and ironed turtlenecks. What you want instead for your legacy is what happened to the former Yugoslavia. Take some time and do your homework.
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