CCP [Chocolate Chip Party]
Dyed red for effect.
Dough Trials
To celebrate Stalin’s unique conception of jurisprudence, this lovely flavor captures the pomp and circumstance of each notorious show trial while adding the unforgettable taste of cookie dough.
The Secret Peach
When Khrushchev gave his “secret speech” on some of Stalin’s faults, it left a bad taste in the mouths of many loyal party members. The same won’t be true for this flavor given its reliance on fresh fruit.
The Former Yogurtslavia
Finally, a dessert even Tito could love.
Bananas Castro
Made from fresh rotten bananas hoarded during The Special Period by elites. Best enjoyed with jungle-ready machetes.
Politberry
Is it a blueberry? Maybe. A raspberry? Possibly. A strawberry? Unlikely. Not that it matters. This is a flavor that takes years to finish. The pint is mostly cardboard, but if you’re get to it in time, you’ll be thankful for a watery, lukewarm delicacy.
Deglaze the Police
You won’t be able to maintain the blue wall of silence after just one bite.
Dumb Raisin
Learn about world history without needing any knowledge of world history.
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