Thursday, July 13, 2023

Real Congestion Pricing

 

New York City is attempting to adopt one trendy version of congestion pricing. In it, car drivers will bail out the wildly mismanaged subway system. Seems like a fair incentive for a rotting piece of urban infrastructure. Most people don’t want to ride the subway out of fear for personal safety or snobby aversion to the smell of sewage and excrement. I haven’t even mentioned the fare, which goes up no matter what. But we’ll see if it goes forward. Because they are missing an obvious form of congestion pricing, right under their nose. 


Did we learn nothing from the pandemic? It sure seems that way. 


Sniffling in public, involuntary nasal whistling, or rubbing your nose of any kind under my plan is going to cost you a few bucks. You can install an E-Z pass type sensor onto your person to get a substantial discount, but there’s no escaping the charge. Whatever the fare is, you double it for one of these moves. Coughing is worse. The sound coupled with the duration will dictate the total expense owed. If there’s audible phlegm or muttered obscenities, you gotta pay up. The difference here is that you don’t pay the Metropolitan Transit Authority. 


You do a reverse panhandle, going around the car and paying every person a small fine for your behavior. The conductor is safe and sound in his little box, unlike the exposed straphangers enduring your sneezing fit. Speaking of sneezing, the person who sneezes as well as anyone who says “God Bless you” must pay. The latter person is part of the problem, tacitly approving of such public displays of bodily fluid. 


This way, you might get people to stay home when feeling under the weather.  

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