Jumping the sharks

It’s summer and that means news of shark attacks are ascendant. I take issue with how these interactions are positioned, namely, as attacks on innocent bathers wading in shallow surf. Are shark attacks possible? Possibly. There are stories you here every now and again, popping up during a slow news cycle. But I am a hard marker. A shark attack can only occur in places outside of the ocean. Because the ocean is their habitat, not ours. 

If a shark walks into a bar and assaults a patron, that’s not the start of a joke, but it is clear evidence of a shark attack. Most so-called shark attacks are home invasions – only we’re the invaders. While stand-your-ground laws exist on land, there’s no reason why the same logic shouldn’t be applied at sea. You don’t see sharks entering office buildings or schools for extracurricular activities. They know where they belong. Turns out, it’s not always where we belong.  

Now say, a shark rings your doorbell and bites you on the femur once welcomed into your home. Then you’d have cause to be annoyed, even angry. But until then, swim with care.