No one likes when their parents argue. It’s worse when the two parties in question aren’t family, but billionaires. I thought money was supposed to buy happiness, or something. It seems that it works to fuel more resentment among the upper crust.
I don’t think it’s fair for Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg to go head-to-head. What they need is an objective intermediary. A third party that can take both of them on if necessary. Unless you skipped the title, you should know that I’m talking about Nicolas Cage. Who better than a man who’s acting chops stretch from the sublime to the deranged? He’s mastered the full spectrum of the human condition in good, bad, great, terrible, and beautifully insane performances. This is not someone who can be accused of always “playing a version of himself.”
What I want is Nicolas Cage in the middle of the ring, wearing a flowing cape, a top hat, and a whip. He’s there to keep things aboveboard and, when the time comes, intervene. Cage Matches can’t hold a candle to Nicolas Cage Matches. They are basically the same, but with one big difference: Nicolas Cage is there doing his Nicolas Cage thing. He’s able to upstage anyone. This is a man who chewing scenery means chewing scenery. His diet doesn’t consist of radishes, rutabagas, or other miscellaneous root vegetables. He finds ruffage in stage curtains and set designs. He’ll do anything for a role. So why not his country?
If anyone can spare us the spectacle of two overpaid imbeciles, it’s Nic Cage.
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