I used to be an idiot. Well, I’m still an idiot, but my idiocy was limited to a single activity. The wrapping of presents. Whatever I did, I just couldn’t figure it out. There were always rips, tears, and lumpy folds. Ribbons were an afterthought. To make things worse, I couldn’t open presents either, shredding the paper beyond recognition so it couldn’t be reused at a later date.
However, in recent years I’ve decided to compound my singular idiocy into exponential idiocy. Why be just a bad driver if you’re not also a bad parker? Why give bad tips and treat the waitstaff politely? Why eat with your mouth open if you’re not also a total slob elsewhere? Idiots contain multitudes and there’s nothing wrong with wanting more.
I never realized how focusing so much on wrapping presents was depriving me of other idiotic situations. There’s never a reason to limit your idiocy. Don’t let friends or loved ones stand in your way. This is your life and you deserve everything you get.
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