Slapsticking Points

On the Vaudeville circuit, as much as the often inebriated, often uneducated masses lapped up well-crafted quips, what they craved more than oxygen itself was physical comedy. They wanted to laugh at the misfortune of others. Beaning, whacking, thwacking, tripping, and yes, slapping. For men like the Three Stooges, witticisms were fine as punchlines, but better punchlines always involve the use of one’s fist. Real punchlines are the lines in someone’s face after telling them how you really feel. But this was when those on stage were the aggressors. Much like a punch, not every joke lands perfectly. 

However, pugilistic comedy didn’t start in 20^th century dives. You can go all the way back to Ancient Rome for performances closer to the beginning. That’s all a gladiator fight was, a form of entertainment that got a little out of hand. It turns out the audience enjoyed the orgy of violence more than the clever wordplay in between bouts. If you think puns are funny, then you’ve never seen a disgraced Roman soldier getting stomped on by an unruly elephant at the Circus Maximus. 

As we became a more literate culture, relying on our smarts to entertain, the skill of making people laugh. Is slapping someone across the face all that different from slapping your knees in a fit of unbridled guffawing? George Kennan was wrong – containment doesn’t always work. You need to let your emotions, especially when going for a joke. Plus, if I recently discovered that words are violence, which if my transitive property loving high school math teacher was correct, then acts of violence are mere words. Funny how that works out.

There are a few ways to react to a celebrity sighting. You could ignore them like any streetwise lunatic. You could approach for an autograph, hoping to flip in a quick cash grab. Or you could walk up to them hoping for a more intimate meeting. There are plenty of ways to provoke someone. But it’s more likely the case one of their handler will step in to give you a smack, which is like getting them to also sign your Playbill. In other words, it’s worthless. Should you get a cheeky response from a wild-eyed luminary, then you’ve accomplished something significant. 

 

Now that’s what I call being starstruck.