Are you going to fill out the survey or not? This is America and in America, when you do anything, people need to know what you think. It could be a hotel stay, a shipped package, or a concert attended – your thoughts matter. And I asked you nicely, sent you several courteous, well-written notes. Civil missives that have yielded no response from you.
What gives? I’m doing my job, which is to find out what you thought. You think because you signed a big bill at the end of the night, you’re given some sort of special dispensation. You have carte blanche to ignore me. That’s not how this thing is supposed to work. If anything, the more you spend, the more I need to hear from you.
Do you what happens when we don’t hear from you? We fill out the surveys ourselves, conjuring results from thin air. That means me and my other idiot co-workers making up stuff. We are going to imagine your innermost thoughts and use them as business objectives.
So I’m going to ask you one last time. What was wrong with the shrimp? You left one little on the side of your plate next to three peas. Should we serve it again? Are you kosher? Do you have a shellfish allergy? Or were you simply full? Was it a problem that most of the meal was cooked on an engine block? Could you taste motor oil? Do you understand now why we can’t guess? We need your input otherwise, this whole operation is doomed. Thanks in advance. Also please rate our service on a scale of 1 to 100.
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