My fellow automatons, there’s are great things happening right now. Big things, small things, subtle things, as well as some not-so-subtle things. Good thing I have these things under control. When I was elected, there were a few things you probably didn’t know about me. The thing is, I’m sure that’s not the case any longer. If anything, you know almost as much about me as the Harry formerly known as Prince.
In addition to all the things going on, there’s a lot of stuff coming to a head. Stuff isn’t just substantially different from your average thing, it’s substantial. Stuff goes into turkeys, while things stay on the counter in small porcelain serving dishes.
So there’s some stuff you should know, and some things you need to understand. But for the sake of national security, and on the advice of counsel, I’m going to keep it vague. Think of me like an acquaintance you see on your commute. We talk about the weather, sports, maybe a new restaurant. But we never, ever talk about our families, politics, and especially not our jobs.
I don’t want to bore you – the American people – with what goes into being a chief executive, day in, day out. It’s none of your business. It’s my business. You’ll know when something big comes up. Or there’s stuff to be addressed. I haven’t asked what you do, so don’t ask what I do. I don’t even know what you do. Though I have browsed the job reports.
Besides things and stuff, I have a few ideas. These ideas are in place to guide the country. My job is to steer the ship, not go down with it. Unless that’s what the gig requires, then, call me the captain and look out for ice bergs.
No comments:
Post a Comment