Signs of the Times

 

I’m seeing a lot of signs held by striking writers. You might call them placards held by out-of-work storytellers. Regardless, what I’ve noticed isn’t a good sign. If this is supposed to help them get a better contract, perhaps it’s time to do a little editing. 

 

Please, no more chat GPT jokes. The ironic thing is that a sign written by A.I. would probably be funnier than a sign that merely states it was not written that way. 

 

Stop rhyming. Hey, ho, terrible rhymes have got to go. It’s not helping the situation.

 

Avoid “spoiler alert” as a punchline. This is what happens when the writer’s room is reduced. The only exception is if a souped-up Mazda is barreling its way towards the crowd. That’s a spoiler to avoid at all costs.

 

Frankly, my dear, you didn’t write that. Quoting famous lines from the past you definitely didn’t write is a bizarre tactic. If anything, it puts your work in a bad light. Not sure what the goal of this is other than for a producer to say, “well, it sure ain’t Shakespeare.” 

 

Stating the obvious. A writer wrote this line. Got any other gems? 

 

Using a thin pen. Sharpies, people, sharpies. Thick, dark and clearly visible from a distance. I know you’re not designers or art directors, but this needs to be read. I shouldn’t be seeing the white of the sign through the bubble letters. s

 

No Cross Outs. If you make a mistake, get a new sign.

 

Big time. No paragraphs and write large. This isn’t Occupy Wall Street. Not the forum for manifestos. 

 

Assuming people watch your show. Yes, they know Succession, The Wire, The Sopranos. But anything else is considered obscure. Sorry, those are just the facts. 

I would issue this to the execs on the other side of the picket line. Be careful. Most writers are much better procrastinators, so not writing is something most can do in their sleep.