Why deal with a written response when you can automate something to suit the situation?
Hi, I’m on vacation and away from my computer, phone or any other trappings of modern technology.
Hello, I’m currently out of the office, watching the sunset through
a champagne flute from the deck of a Russian oligarch’s yacht.
Hi there, I’m under indictment and have been advised by my legal counsel to avoid unnecessary correspondence.
I can’t respond to your email right now, since I’m playing a game of chess with a nice man with a considerable amount of drool on his shirt at a public park.
When I return from my lavish escapades, your note will be at the bottom of the pile (yes, you read that correctly, I print out all my emails and stack them in a large, paper pile)
My time is clearly more valuable than your time because you’re reading this while I’m not even writing it.
You have the wrong email. Try again.
This is the closest you’re going to get to a response from me, so enjoy it.
No.
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