Water we doing?

 

If you’re anything like me, you don’t know when to drink water

I can't figure it out, despite my alma mater 

Do I drink it in the morning?

Do I drink it without warning?

Do I drink it before bed? 

Do I drink it every meal or do I drink in lieu of bread?

Do I drink it when I’m thirsty or do I drink it when I’m bored? 

Do I drink it for myself or do I drink for my lord?
Do I drink it out of boxes or do I drink it cans?

Do I drink it out of bags or do I drink it from my hands? 

Do I drink it from the sea or do I drink it from the lakes?

Do I drink it from a gutter no matter what it tastes? 

Do I drink it from the sky when it starts to rain?

Do I drink it from a puddle when it starts to wane? 

Do I drink it by the ounce or do I drink it by the quart? 

Do I drink it for fun or do I drink it for sport?

Do I drink it from the faucet or do I drink it from the source?

Do I drink it from a hose with substantial g-force?

Do I drink it from a glass or do I drink it from a bowl?

Do I drink it from a spring or from a watering hole?

Do I drink it from a geyser?

Do I drink it to make me wiser?

Do I drink it when it’s snow or do I drink it when it’s ice?

Do I drink it unsweetened or do drink it with spice? 

Do I drink it as a gas or do I drink it from a glass? 

Do I drink it all the time?

Do I drink it with a lime?

Do I drink it until toxicity?

Do I drink it with electricity? 

I drink it all these ways and more, from the heavens to the ocean floor.

But I don’t drink it from a recyclable cup or a reusable bottle.

My philosophy forbids it as a hygienic Aristotle

So I shun Nalgene and S'well and Stanley and Yeti.

Yet I have plenty of options while being quite petty.