It started off innocently enough. With a quip, a chortle, and an entire argument left justified. I decided to finally do something about it. I went straight to the formatting window, totally changing how I viewed the world.
You see? That wasn’t so hard. Given the amount of yammering by people reluctant to center, you’d be forgiven for thinking the process was a complicated one. It’s not. With all this talk about centering – who even knew it was a verb? – my thoughts drifted to basketball, once the premier bastion of centers. Not anymore. The game has turned into a three-point shooting bonanza. A long-range extravaganza. An exhibition of talent players, launching distant balls from way beyond the arc. This wasn’t always the case.
Where would a person like Wilt Chamberlain fit into our current mess? Not into a Volkswagen, that much I’m certain of. He was a powerhouse of a player, but in todays’s game, a man of his stature – on and off the court – would become a bystander. Passively watching the game from afar, incapable of shooting a distant three.
Where are the rest of the centers? Some work in rambunctious studio shows, dissecting the game to a degree few fans appreciate. Despite society’s current wave of centering things, we’ve forgotten to center centers. They remain on the court, nominal figures of a game that is literally passing them by. Watching as teammates drain buckets isn’t too fun, unless the buckets are those filled with a janitor’s delight after giving the court a necessary cleaning. Players aren’t the only ones in need of a post-game rubdown.
Stay centered. It might look weird at first, but like the most important in life (for instance, when a beloved brand suddenly changes their beloved logo), you’ll get used to it eventually.
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