Solid Life

You know that sound when you pull a fresh ice tray out the freezer for the first time? The snaps, crackles, and pops it makes while resting on the counter awaiting your next move are enough to bowl over any elf in the area. If anyone understands the power of ice, it’s elves. During the frenzy of the holidays, many non-unionized workers are known to pass out from exhaustion in massive snow banks not far from Kringle’s sleigh. Though tired of flagrantly violating copyright laws ignored by their superiors, the little guys have little recourse. They are expected to build an iPhone from scratch, using nothing but wooden blocks. Everything is considered a toy up there. But they know ice. They know that after a long day of cleaning up after ornery reindeer, the raw emotions brought to the surface by a chunk of ice floating in a stiff drink is unrivaled. Despite their small stature, more than a few are known for throwing back more than a few. 

At Solid Life, we also understand the importance of ice – spiritually, functionally, and recreationally. Flicking water in a person’s face is a mild, almost genteel prank when compared to pelting someone with a handful of crushed ice. The latter sends a message they’ll never forget. We let people animate their thirst with all types of ice living beyond the tray. We have canned ice, bottled ice, mason jarred ice, and even, bagged ice. And we’re selling fridges where the freezer is on the bottom for easy access.  

Within the office, we don’t talk about climate change. But given our elven pedigree, the North Pole is an interesting point of interest. It’s common for people to decry the melting polar ice caps, but that doesn’t stop them from wasting it to make dead fish look better. We’ve decided to do something about it. Our plan is to pack in the ice in the places most in need of it.

Will it melt? Maybe. Probably. Definitely. At least we tried, huh? It’s much more than can be said for our competitors. There’s plenty of water to go around. Enough already. But ice? Not so much. As the old saying goes, when it rains, it doesn’t always snow. Now if only we could just freeze time.