Collage Debt

If your desire is to avoid the digital slings and arrows of the uber-online, then it’s best not to profess a deep-seated love for the quaintly analog. You don’t want people to suspect you harboring a pet rock in your desk drawer or worse – a chia pet with monumental aspirations. You’re expected to plug in at all times. As if we're merely lost cords looking for an outlet. For the early adopters, few have met an app they didn’t like or a piece of technology not worth promoting. But you’re different. You still buy magazines, cutting out the pictures of your favorite celebrities, creating a bulletin board collage – an unsullied lens into your sullied mind. Want to know what I think about something? Take a look at this collage I’ve spent the last three hours carefully constructing with thumbtacks, scissors and the occasional white-out pen. Then don't ask me again. 

There was a time in this country when collages were more popular than college. Everyone from school kids to hostage takers understood the efficacy of some shiny paper displayed in an interesting way - with or without glitter. Sure, you could write a ransom note by hand – like a real nut. Or, you could pick up copies of Esquire, Life Magazine, and Golf Digest and go to work. When the authorities finally got to examining the glue (it was always Elmer’s) they had to respect your craftsmanship before critiquing your morals. Nowadays, wackos and lunatics put their manifestos in online blogs and comment threads. The artistry is all gone. The intrigue is no more. 

This gave way to dioramas, the three-dimensional cousin of the collage, putting the shoebox to good use for the first time since the heyday of baseball card collecting. This of course gave way to other miniature pleasures. Figurines, dolls, model aircrafts – all deemed toys by the establishment, but what fun they are. Instead of walking around all day with theories of what Napoleon should’ve done at Waterloo, you could take over the copy room for your lunchtime war games. Just a thought.

A digital collage isn’t the same. Where’s the risk to life and limb? Putting together a series of amusing photos without using an X-acto knife – while safer, sure – eliminates the exhilaration inherent in barely missing an artery during the creative process.

I’ve taken to affixing things directly to my phone, as a sign that glossy magazines have some staying power as long as there’s a healthy supply of rubber cement at my disposal. Not at my fingertips, since the stuff can be so darn difficult to remove. Stick around. It’s not like you have a choice.