It used to be everywhere. You never had to look too far to see it either. It would find you time and time again. You didn’t need to adopt bifocals, binoculars or get Lasik surgery. You could do any of those three things and see it more clearly I guess, but it was by no means mandatory. You could see it on your front porch after changing a lightbulb. It might arrive on your doorstep inside a steaming pizza box or in your pockets under used candy wrappers.
It was all over. On billboards and bus shelters, within radio dramas and roller derbies. In between television programs and two main courses. During sporting events and special elections. Amid downpours and diatribes, it was there. It was a part of advertising, too.
But it’s rarely on TikTok, it’s never on Twitter, and it’s hardly on Facebook. If it is on any of those by hook or by miracle, it doesn’t last for long. On TV, it’s about singing animals, dancing animals, snarky parents, and stupid people. It’s about smoke machines and smoldering resentment. It’s not funny.
It used to be on ads all the time. On print ads in thick bold lettering with lots of supporting paragraphs, all written in the service of making an argument. A single point as it were. But not today. Now it's about capturing feelings like lightning bugs, in boxes with barely enough holes to breathe. It’s a way to spread a vibe or an emotion through a ballooning brand statement.
So, where is it? The beef. You know, it’s not even in burgers anymore, impossible as that sounds. It was just here and now it’s gone. Maybe we’ll find it again before too long. I doubt it though. Should you discover it, smell it first. The only issue is that it tends to go bad after a while.
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